Archive for January, 2010

A joke

January 30, 2010

Only Three Doors
An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day’s route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn’t get out of her room. “You can’t get out of your room?” the captain asked, “Why not?”

The stewardess replied: “There are only three doors in here,” she sobbed, “one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says ‘Do Not Disturb’!”

The Far Side (I am on a roll)

January 29, 2010

Far Side!

January 28, 2010

Far side

January 26, 2010

The Far Side! (Possibly the funniest comic series ever)

January 24, 2010

A blond joke… (No, I don’t really think blonds are dumb)

January 23, 2010

There was a blonde that lived in a small house on the corner of 4th Avenue.

She had a small shed in her backyard where she kept gardening tools. One day, she thought she saw smoke coming out of the roof of the shed.

In a panic she called 911. They answered and said “This is Joe, is there an emergency?”

The blonde replied “Yes my shed is on fire!!!” Joe said, “Don’t panic help in on the way…where do you live?”

The blonde said, “IN A HOUSE, NOW HURRY!!”

Joe calmly responded back, “How are we supposed to get there?”

The blonde answered back, “DUH!!! A BIG RED TRUCK!”

Tim Hawkins

January 19, 2010

Lewis Quote

January 17, 2010

We all want progress, but if you’re on the wrong road, progress means doing an about-turn and walking back to the right road; in that case, the man who turns back soonest is the most progressive.
C. S. Lewis

Tim Hawkins (Not the best model of a parent)

January 16, 2010

Traffic Accident

January 15, 2010

“Well, Your Honor, I really didn’t mean to get into a fight with the driver of the car I ran into the other day.

I was rear-ended, which caused me to rear-end the car in front of me. The driver, whom you can see is a dwarf, approached aggressively after the accident yelling, “I am NOT happy.”

I decided that I would try to lighten things up and answered, “OK, I can see that, but then which one are you?”

That’s when the fight started.”