Zen thoughts

Zen thoughts

Save the whales. Collect the whole set.

A day without sunshine is like, night.

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

I just got lost in thought, it was unfamiliar territory.

42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

I feel like I am diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

Honk if you love peace and quiet.

Remember, half the people you know are below average.

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

Support bacteria.  They’re the only culture some people have.

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 week.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

Get a new car for your spouse.  It’ll be a great trade!

Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.

Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!

If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

How many of you believe in telekinesis?  Raise my hand…

OK, so what’s the speed of dark?

How do you tell when you’re out of invisible ink?

If everything seems to be going well you obviously overlooked something.

When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.

Hard work pays off in the future.  Laziness pays off now.

Everyone has a photographic memory.  Some just don’t have film.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Eagles may soar; the weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

When was the last time that a psychic won the lottery?

 

Provided by the Jones

Advertisements

3 Responses to “Zen thoughts”

  1. tGbtg! Says:

    This is so funny.

  2. BookSnob Says:

    Lol, I love these!! This is what happens when brilliant people are doing laundry!

  3. SweetTart Says:

    HONK!!!!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: