Actual label instructions

In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Sears of hair dryer:

“…Do not use while sleeping.”

(darn, and that’s the only time I have to work with my hair.)

On a bag of Fritos:

“…You could be a winner!  No purchase necessary.  Details inside.”

(the shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Dial soap:

“Directions: Use like regular soap.”

(and that would be how???…)

On some Swanson frozen dinners:

“Serving suggestion: Defrost”

(But, it’s “just” a suggestion)

On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):

“Do not turn upside down.”

(well…duh, a bit late, huh!)

On Marks & Spencer bread pudding:

“product will be hot after heating.”

(…And you thought???…)

On packaging for Rowenta iron:

“do not iron clothes on body.”

(but wouldn’t this save me more time?)

On Boot’s children cough medicine:

“Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking his medication.”

(we could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with head colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:

“Warning: May cause drowsiness.”

(And…I’m taking this because???…)

On most Brands of Christmas lights:

“For indoor or outdoor use only.”

(as opposed to…What?)

On a Japanese Food processor:

“Not to be used for the other use.”

(Now, somebody out there, help me with this.  I’m a bit curious.)

On Sainsbury’s peanuts:

“Warning: contains nuts.”

(Talk about a newsflash)

On a Swedish chainsaw:

“Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or other body parts.”

(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

On a child’s superman costume:

“Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.”

(I don’t blame the company.  I blame the parents for this one.)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:

“Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.”

(Step 3: maybe, uh…fly Delta?)

These were supplied by Becca and the whole Jones family (thanks yall)


4 Responses to “Actual label instructions”

  1. praiseHim Says:

    Hahaha those are funny. I hadn’t read them in a while.

  2. BookSnob Says:

    Lol, you’re family sounds like fun to hang out with! I was laughing so hard…

  3. SweetTart Says:

    LOL, I love the upside down one!

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